Apr 2, 2007

Nov 13th, 2005 at 09:46 PM

i put my blue jean, and my japanese coat on, then my loved sneakers.... i should call them flying shoes......
I got out and as I them on i began to fly, as usual, my feet barely touched the ground as those magic shoes made me run and jump...and fly over the asphalt and the earth...

ever experienced so intensely the mere daily shopping for food at the market?

I looked at me in the mirror before going out...and those matching gold hair and ray on the jacket let me wonder...are you back european girly?...yes i guess, falling leaves and chilly cold wind brung me back to the roots, I'm the wandering wild free once again.

Nov 15th, 2005 at 11:54 PM

It is frightening......I had never felt that before....this missing feeling......this attraction
I had never realised during my whole stay in India and Pakistan how much english language had taken space in my brain......being stuck in france, i have to talk and write and read most materials at school, with friends and family in french....so after few weeks i realised how much I missed english...... i crave for english! as soon as i can i plunge into english mag, net or book, I do it........and when i get to talk to english with someone I won't quit untill the other force me too!!!!.........
i feel so lonely, that almost no one else actually can good english over here around me.........

Dec 15th, 2005 at 11:19 PM- thought of the day

everything in life is dangerous because when you are born you are bound to die

May 27th, 2006 at 04:55 PM - water miracle

One of the most desertic region of Rajasthan recovered 5 rivers due to the hard work of villlagers.
They digged water collectors and dams at the bottom of hills to gather rain water. Then water can infiltrate into the soil and make the watertable rise, giving birth to rivers that had disapeared.
Disappeared? yes an old man from this region (80years old) told the initiator of the project Rajendra Singh about this ancestral technique to fight against desertification and increase irrigation opportunities. But the old man said that after independance villagers got divided by elections and forgot to work together on water projects and rivers disappeared, transforming the region in an almost desert and forcing young men to work in factories in towns.

Source : Geo juin2005, "Le rajasthan se remet au vert"

I found that news extremely interesting for 2 reasons:

-fisrt it clearly shows the limit of political democracy. I mean political democracy is an invitation to division, and therefore a big brake to collective work. BUT collective work is needed to maintain good quality of life and good social relationaship within a community. hence political democracy is not favoring human developpement.
-second it clearly shows the extremely negative impacts of colonization on rural communities in the third worl during the second half of the twentieth century. At this time colonial powers such as UK and France received the "moral and economical support" from the USA. USA kept on the colonization process over poor famers minds, especially through TV and radio extension even among poor countrisides. These colonial powers imposed their views about agriculture and land managment on local farmers and led to ecologiacal disaster, because western engineers and scientists were not MORE clever than dozens of century old techniques used localy to better life in hard climatic environements.

Jun 3rd, 2006 at 06:18 PM-war and warcrimes, no differences

anyone who think that war is a pc game is a child!
anyone who think that war can be conducted without such barbarian acts is nothing more but a daydreamer!
utopia are bad for health (look what happened to USSR, and other marxist daydreamer!)

high hopes are noble, but human nature is not noble!

there are laws because human like to do the opposite!

it is not possible to make war without having rapes, torture, and mass killing of innocents, because it's in the human nature, and soldiers are human!

maybe we should have only robots in army, that day i will still be in doubt because robots are made by human anyways

music as a drug- Jun 9th, 2006 at 04:05 PM

it's maybe the 6th time in a row i listen to that song "island" from Heather Nova

she sings like a siren in this song

i feel like in a ocean of nostalgia

this waves of bitterhappiness overwhelmes me

and i feel like writing me, naked and openhearted over there

i am not Noor, i have no name

I am a cameleon, i fit in the landscape, and change name and identity depending on the environment

and i have no other self identity than those words i am gonna lay in following posts

Jun 9th, 2006 at 04:14 PMeurope- my country!

I am a european
I was born and raised here
My ancestors are all rooted to that beatifull and wealthy land
When i utter a word it's most likely to be in a language belonging to my forfathers land, be it english, german, french, or norwegian....apart from some urdu and pashto, i rarely speak something not european

basicallly i hate the same things in europe than america, and love the same things about europe as about america, with some light differences

love: the long summer nights ,dark blue, the long pink sunsets, the low winter midday sun, the scientific knowledge, the technological improvements of life, the freedom

hate: mass media, the communication wars, the pollution, the technological dependance, the narowmindness (€, £, $=value),decaying people

Jun 9th, 2006 at 05:29 PM-wild call

i have allways dreamed of perfumed flowers, swinging greenery and crystal clear sea

I have allways preferred the company of plants and birds to annoying fellows

i have allways listened to my basic needs and instincts
i have allways annoyed people by my careless attitude

how can i be happy, more happy than them? cause nothing is so serious, everything is easy when you don't think too much

i like to go back to basics and explain anything at a simple level, by taking easy steps to get to more complex issues later, i discovered a while it was math principle, and got suddenly more friend to that past hated subject.

As i am primitive i am happy as long as my BASIC needs are satisfied, nothing more (two first level of maslow pyramid).

BUt i'm extremely hatefull towards the people who threaten my basic survival: all those who like to poison my air (car drivers) and try to killed me (not only me other member of my family), because they are too lazy to move their a$$es.
I am proud t have a fat a$$ cause most people with slim a$$ are too lazy to move it, at least mine is full of strong muscle that makes me get in the train faster than those techno dependant fashinable slim muscleless a$$es

true i don't like people who replace the grass where i love to sit for a meditation and lay for a nap by asphalt

i don't give a damn about cultural norms, i know how to learn them and repeat them like a parrot, which people like, but i don't respect them in my heart they mean nothing to me but jail

i hate this cultural stuff that makes human , human, cause i'm deep inside still an animal, wild and free, and when i'm jailed in a zoo i feel a little weird

i have hoped and prayed, to be and still be the same over and over again, and to never loose my mind after "growing up"
i was careless smart child full of dreams, and now i am a careless smart grown up full of dreams...so i am human for real, cause these dreams are benchmark of my humanity, but i just like to keep it simple.

i can like all those things that humans make to make their lives "meaningfull", "fullfilling", "less brong"

but i am a wild animal, and like all wild animal, i travel, migrate, so i don't OWN much. ownership is not much valued to me, and things we gather all along the way are best kept preciously, not wasted.
the materialistic civilisation built by marketers makes me sick
people who chase materialist stuff can't understand me, and i can't understand them, we are aliens to each others.

Jun 9th, 2006 at 05:48 PM- my feel good secret

what to do to feel better instantly?

look for the most intense light around and look at it
take my pocket mirror out of wherever it is
look at my eyes, its green shade, like grass, leaves and hope
look at my eyes its little brown stains, like trees, cause i'm a forest lady and my eyes reflect it
i love my eyes, and i feel good to have them

Jun 20th, 2006 at 09:12 PM- doubts, inauguration of museum in paris today

again and again
more and more
like an endless well
like a pierced water purse

nothing is sure, human brain like soldi truth
but it does not exist
the more we know
the more we know that there is more that we ignore!

but the more we know, the more we are free to assess relative strenght of hypothesis, one against each other

staying on the edge of the least uncertain possibility is how i would define modern knowledge
but we should be carefull not to look down upon old wisdom, as primitives usually know far more about life and its necessities than average citizen of "modern world"

Today Mr Jaques Chirac our president inaugurated a nice buikding with gardens close to Eiffel Tower: musuem for "primitive arts"(musée des arts premiers), a museum for arts from all continents except europe....yeah some people still think everyone but us (europeans) are "primary/primitive".... *sic*

but extermination of cutural diversity has been the obsession of white men since colomb discovered america...
so now like endangered species in zoo, they are caged in museum!
how pathetic

the core thought: "cultural diversity is a threat to globalised markets and economy", europeans have known it for centuries, far before words like globalisation was invented, the concept of world trade was associated to colonisation AND missionaries. Why? because they have known for long that to sell their (useless) products to "native" people they needed to create the need for it by converting them to their culture, so they brang priests and explained how holy and pure was their mission towards these poor people who never had a nice life before them *sight*
that is marketing far before the term was invented!

it makes me think about the first urge from american workers in afghanistan after advising women to get free from burqa: seeling them false lashes and mascara ...

Jun 24th, 2006 at 05:45 PM - 15 years

today it has been 15 years since my mother dies

i can't believe so much time has gone

Jul 14th, 2006 at 02:17 PM-what's right and what's wrong

it's difficult to tell which things to do, what's right and wrong, some people allways trying to attract you to "their"side of good and wrong, but usually you realise that they are only using you to get what they want :money, power, fame....

what's right is even becoming a marketing tool, for example "ethical funds" which pretend to invest your money only in some ethic companies, or "islamic banks" which pretend to respect islam teachings, "natural prducs" which pretend not to use chemicals, "green fuel" which pretend not to harm environement, etc....

this world is a shark pool, we pure souls are dolphins trying to get out of here without being torn in bloody pieces of meat....

we should not listen to the sirens of power, money and fame

Jul 15th, 2006 at 04:06 PM- circular thoughts

i was told long ago that the difference btw western people and some eastern or so called "primitive" people, regarding life concepts, was that western do think life is linear...while eastern, primitves, think it is a cycle
ideaologically, i'm a cycle viewer, not for linear time frame, or i would say i'm a combiner!

i do think there is a linear time frame AND cycles going on at the same time....helicoidal time, like DNA....mere coincidence, na?

A circular definition is one that assumes a prior understanding of the term being defined.
circular definition are best suited to modelised cycles....hence well founded definitions may fall short to get something out of a cyclic thingy....and what' more cyclic than short term time frame...just like human lifespan....
yeah time is linear when viewed from long disctance: millions years...
but viewed too closely it looks cyclic....hence evolution theory is hard to prove when we are glued to a cyclic time frame....only when we get farther and farther from helicoid of times can we detect the linear component of time....

Sep 9th, 2006 at 10:45 AM-evils

people wanna own and show off ........;that's all they want;

thinking, sharing, caring and loving are so out of fashion...

western world, and its world extent is so weird

Sep 10th, 2006 at 06:38 PM-week end

my idea of a really nice week end:

spending afernoon laying on the grass of my garden, taking a nap while listening to the water pond stream.....

looking at the sun glowing on the grass , the flowers: roses, lotus

and reading a good book with pashto music in my ears

Nov 18th, 2006 at 09:44 PM- life is wonderfull

I had a wonderfull day!
no i did not do anything specxial, i only bought a pair of shoes

but it was a sum of simple short and sudden meetings with old acquainances and newcomers in my life that made the day so nice...together with a glowing sun, blue sky, red and orange leaves on trees

well i am in good shape, feeling well these days, so even the most insignificant hapiness moment can make a day, a wonderfull day.

it's the way i seee things...everything is nice , so i am happy!

Dec 17th, 2006 at 09:57 PM- to beer or not to beer :D

So i remembered few days ago that my hair was sooooo beautifull when i lived in england...but then i realised that i used to drink regurlarly beer over there....and that beer yeast is well known to help hair growth...

so i wonder should i drink beer often to get my extra long hair back?

Dec 27th, 2006 at 10:53 PM-I have to

keeeeeeeeeeeep on running to life, i should not run away from life no more...i have to face what i refused to face in the past, and i must finish now what i left undonei must be courageous now!!

Dec 17th, 2006, 10:08 PM
attracting features in a guy's face: small mouth with cute pink lips, big brown eyes, long nose, sweet hairless skin

and bodywise: very thin, very tall, and nice smell !!

yeah i do care about look...who says you are not suposed to touch/look at your guy?

Jan 1st, 2007 at 12:52 AM-time to close the 2006 book page

oye oye 2006 is dead long life to 2007

last year i wrote:

"new year may be time for good resolutions, but it is also time to look at the last year and dress a conclusion: 2005 has been by far the most beautifull year of my life, and by far!
i enjoyed more sun and more snow than ever...not only due to travel, but to some odd climatic change over here!

i used to think intelligence and knowledge are a heavy burden to weigh ...
but i discovered it was a bliss...and a gift, the most usefull in ones life.

I discovered some people who share my thoughts and emotions

I discovered the world is yours only if you're ready to get it, full of beautifull things only if you are strong enough to handle them"

About 2006 i don't know...it's been tough at times, delight at others...but i've been trying to hide myself and destroy myself........until i drowned so much i exploded in a last blast of strife for life.

I lacked the will for life most of 2006, but since 2 months i'm back to life and i have already started to live by 2007 resolutions:
- get a well paid job
- like and be liked by your colleagues
- get a flat
- keep in touch with friends and don't treat them like tissue papers
- try to find a MAN, one I want, and not one people want me to have
and this year ended well cause HE was the only one to call me for happy new year wish...though working the whole day (everyday!!)

Jan 3rd, 2007 at 09:38 PM-urbanite

When I hear this song i feel like jumping around
When I see this blue sky and low light, I feel like living forever
I love Asia cause I’m a dreamer
And dreams start in winter
When sky is pink at dawn
Fire sun rises to the East
Just like my heart belongs to Asia

I am a city girl, I walk all around shopping stones
I am a urban girl, I run and jump in out from tubes
I love this city because of the skylines
The rise to the sky like trees
I live in a forest of steel and glass

Jan 8th, 2007 at 10:52 PM -merely an observer

i felt it could not be possible
but ia m really what he meant: a distant observer deprived of feelings, lacking emotional involvment
i don't have any culture, any roots
I observe, I ponder and think...but i do not feel belonging to any of those human culture...nor would i have the will to do
they all have nice and ugly faces...

Jan 13th, 2007 at 08:51 PM-our community

We are young , we are quick, we are strong, we are brilliant, we fear nothing....we are....hmmmm, we are a select community, called the 10% (of most clever people)

We love to test everyone, just to guess if only you could be part of our club...cause it's not written on our face.
We love to stay hanged to each other for hours talking about politics, philosophy, sociology, history, sciences, technology, IT, linguistics, ethnology, etc....
any petty thing is used by our quick brains to start a hot discussion on the necessity of judgment and relative meaning of moral norms...
But most important, we LOVE each others a lot, lot, lot...more I could ever have imagined! So i love to meet YOU! and allways look out for more of us......
We live life in a way others can't think.
Our power to move in life is BRAIN, and intellectual stimuli, excitment to think, feel and match up new ideas, discover the world and people around.
Yet anyone around us wonder why are we single, but really that kind of intellectual excitment, our arrogance, our assertivness, make us usually prefer our own companies to anyone else, but when we are together we can't do anything else but talk and think, cause it's just the way we are wired

dedicated to young NYC genius

Jan 17th, 2007 at 11:14 PM -and life is a dream

i see it full of cherrytreee in full bloom
i smell it as a wet roses in the dawn
i hear it like a slow chinese song
i touch it like my silk underwear
life is passion, life is sophistication, life is a dream

Jan 19th, 2007 at 10:56 PM-Resolutions of the new year

ok so good resolutions are not meant to vanish as soon as the year's started!
so i decided to make regular checks to see where i'm on my way ,
here are resolutions:
"- get a well paid job---DONE!
- like and be liked by your colleagues----ok so far!
- get a flat----processing....should be done within 3 weeks
- keep in touch with friends and don't treat them like tissue papers----quite ok so far! but still room for improvment, i forgot to call back Linda, my childhood friend, one week pastgosh, i should call her tomorrow! i did not even wish her happy new year
- try to find a MAN, one I want, and not one people want me to have----hmm, disaster!
I think i'll turn this resolution into "live up to your dreams", and my dreams are definitly somewhere else, though most friends are trying hard to convince me that men are "attractive" , but NOT as much as my boooooooooooks!
So yes the plan for 2007 is already very much heavy:
- gotta keep on learning chinese, at least i should be "intermediate by end of year".....motivation is to be able to read classics in few years, and that means knowing 6000 characters !
- gotta keep on working on philosophy project with my philosophe friend....so i should finish reading few books and write about them, and submit papers to him......good thing is i am done with commenting his paper!...until he send me new ones
- gotta keep on exercising on morning, my muscles are already very toned...but i gotta keep it that way!
- gotta keep loosing fat, that's not easy
- and gotta keep on my eyebrows neat! i look much more nice when they are perfectly done...seeing sara516 reminded me of that! it's so important to care about each detail of the face beauty....cause even if people don't actually look at each details (except some girls who are used to pay attention themselves, lol), in the end, the sum of details make it either nice (well cared details) or average (some not so well cared details)
- and that's one friend advice i may follow: care more about my cloth styling !
first i gotta try to figure it, but anyway as i work for a bank, i gotta be very business like during the week...but for week ends....i have to get rid of "jean-sneakers-big jumper" style, it's so unsexy, k promise! the only thing i won't wear is thong, no even if it's girly, i simply don't want.......